Anxiety, Stress & Perfectionism

It seems like millennials are no stranger to anxiety, stress and perfectionism. These 3 are often related, but sometimes therapy will focus on a specific topic despite the overlap. Individual treatment plans will vary depending on what is relevant to your needs.

Therapy for Anxiety

The types of anxiety that I work with most often are: panic attacks, generalized anxiety (excessive worry), and moderate to low social anxiety. If you experience moderate to severe OCD, trichotillomania, specific phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), I recommend to work with a psychologist or counsellor who has specialized training to treat your specific concern. I always recommend to address your most severe symptoms with a therapist who uses a specialized approach.

Anxiety Treatment

Treatment for anxiety focuses on symptom management first so that you can learn to distinguish anxiety symptoms from non-threatening and natural responses to stress and other stimuli. This includes creating a lower-stress lifestyle, reducing and eliminating anxiety triggers, challenging negative thoughts, and building confidence and self-esteem to manage anxiety. Anxiety remission is also possible!

Example treatment plan for anxiety:
Relaxation and stress reduction
Self-care
Exposure*
Self-talk & automatic thoughts
Mistaken beliefs
Expressing feelings
Assertiveness & boundary setting
Strengths building

*Exposure therapy is used in specific conditions like panic attacks and social anxiety.

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Therapy for Stress Management

Everyone experiences stress, but what is too much stress, and how do you know when you're not managing stress well? Symptoms of high stress can include: poor sleep, appetite changes, feeling restless, irritability and frustration, difficulty relaxing, feeling on edge, uncontrollable crying, fits of anger, intolerance of mistakes, frequent arguments, headaches, back pain, neck and shoulder pain, upset stomach, muscle tension and anxiety. Sometimes the body expresses stress before the mind is aware of it. If you experience these symptoms, it's time to focus on stress management.

Stress Management Treatment

Example treatment plan for stress:
Stress reduction and relaxation techniques
Self-care routine
Self-talk & beliefs
Expressing feelings
Values exploration
Assertiveness & boundary setting

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Therapy for Perfectionism

Although attention to detail can be a type of perfectionist behaviour, perfectionism as a lifestyle is based on deeply held beliefs and patterned behaviours that focus on gaining approval by not messing up. Perfectionism is commonly occurs with anxiety, and there are some early patterns that can predict later perfectionism. 

A common pattern I've noticed in perfectionism is family experiences where a family member's emotions and behaviours were unpredictable. The child learns that peace in the home (stability) requires the perfection conditions so that (insert family member) is not upset and disrupting the family atmosphere. As an adult, this child applies the rules learned in their childhood home to try to figure out how to have harmonious relationships and feel a sense of belonging and significance (importance). Perfectionism can also come from environments with criticism, judgment and frequent comparison. It can also arise from role modelling.

Rigid beliefs (e.g., "I can't mess up") and patterned behaviours maintain perfectionism. These often result in high standards and rigid ideas. Perfectionists may seek excessive approval or reassurance as an extension of people pleasing. These behaviours can result in high stress, resentment towards others for seemingly one-sided relationships, and burnout. Other symptoms can include a negative mindset, irritability, frustration, sensitivity to rejection, and excessive criticism or judgmental of yourself and/or others.

Perfectionism Treatment

Example treatment plan for perfectionism:
Self-care
Identify and explore values
Lifestyle beliefs and mistaken beliefs
Shame and productivity
Boundary setting