Choosing a therapist can be like a journey in itself. You’ve decided to go to therapy, what next? You look at profile after profile of therapists on different websites as if you were looking through dating profiles to find a future partner. If we’re being honest, this is an important new relationship.
Will this one understand me?
This one has a kind smile…
That one has terrible grammar…
I think I get a good vibe from this one…
Once you’ve decided who to meet, you need to make sure that you’re a good fit to work together (they pass the vibe check). This article will cover 5 common mistakes people make when they pick a therapist.
Mistake #1: Choosing a therapist based by location only.
When you pick a therapist, you might only look at who is located close to you. Location is an important factor, but if you pick a therapist only based on their location, you might be limited by their expertise. While it’s helpful to make sure location is close enough, the therapists in your area might not be able to help you. This is where an online therapy option can be helpful, because you can pick a therapist from a larger geographical area and make sure they’re a good fit.
If you prefer the privacy and atmosphere of being in a therapist’s office, that’s totally OK. Searching for a therapist who is close to another area that you frequently visit is another way you can find a therapist who is located close enough. Maybe there’s an anxiety therapist who does somatic work near your dentist, or a trauma therapist who lives near your cute little nephew who you love to visit.
Is it important that your therapist is located near you? In the grand scheme of things, I would say it depends. Online therapy lets you to find a good therapist from a larger catchment area. Plus, you can visit from the convenience of your own home. Sometimes traveling for therapy can be part of your personal reflection time, and going to a therapy office can created a sense of accountability.
Mistake #2: Not reading the therapist's profile.
There are a lot of directories online to help you pick a therapist. As you do your search, make sure to read each therapist profile carefully, because they will identify who they work with and their areas of expertise. Just because you like the look of a therapist or the words in their profile doesn’t automatically mean that they will be a good fit.
Why should you work with a therapist who has expertise in your area? There are so many reasons, including legalities, liability, and not wasting your time and money. If you’re unsure if you could be a good fit from a profile but you like the therapists’ vibe, see if you can book a consultation.
Tip:As you narrow down your therapist options, see if they have a website and check it out. Their “About Me” page will often have more details than their profile listing, which usually has a character limit.
Mistake #3: Taking a referral at face value.
I’m so grateful that many of my clients have been referred to me from someone who worked with me as a client or a colleague in the past. A referral is the highest compliment. A referral says that the person who knows the therapist likes them. It doesn’t necessarily mean you would be a good fit to work together.
Tip: Look up the therapist’s name online. Read their website and look into their social media presence, if they have one. See what they’re all about. Scheduling a consultation is another way to see if you are a match.
Mistake #4: Judging your therapy experience based on one interaction.
A consultation appointment gives you an opportunity to interact with your potential therapist. It’s usually very brief and it’s not a therapeutic conversation, so you won’t get a full sense of what working with them is going to be like. Ideally, the therapists you meet can give you a sense of their experience and expertise, and share how they think they could help you.
The way many of my clients have described consultation meetings is that they get a gut sense that we might work well together. And then they trust their gut! Try the gut-check method, and if it doesn’t match in your meeting, pick another therapist to meet with. Eventually, you will find someone you feel comfortable to talk to.
Tip: Because therapy is about growing, this means sometimes you might feel uncomfortable. There might even be moments or sessions that feel difficult with your therapist, even early on. When you start working with a therapist, give it a few sessions before deciding if you truly want to switch. Your therapy breakthrough maybe just around the corner. In the beginning, you’re just getting to know your therapist, and vice versa.
Mistake #5: Selecting a therapist for trauma work who doesn't have trauma expertise.
(This is a little tricky, because as a trauma-informed therapist, I recognize that all therapy is trauma work in some form.)
Let’s pretend that you’re experiencing symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. While searching for a counsellor, you pick a therapist who indicates that they help people feel more connected with themselves. Their profile and website don’t indicate that they specialize in trauma, but you do feel disconnected from yourself. Trauma recovery is delicate work, so make sure that your therapist is trained and skilled to help you navigate your situation appropriately. Sometimes you might end up beginning with one therapist and then get referred to another because your therapist has noticed a training gap. This transfer of care is meant to be helpful for your healing.
Tip: Read therapist profiles and websites carefully to make sure they indicate some form of trauma training and/or trauma expertise. This is especially important if you have received a diagnosis, or you suspect a diagnosis.
Closing Notes
Selecting a therapist is an important stage in your therapy process. You might have several therapists over your personal growth journey based on your needs at different times. (And that’s completely normal.) Knowing how to choose a therapist based on your needs can reduce the stress of getting started.
Pick a therapist using one of these online directories:
BCACC Counsellors
Psychology Today Find A Counsellor
Counselling BC
Book a Therapy Consultation
Let’s see if we’re a good fit.
