Counselling often involves sensitive subjects and talking about your emotions, which can feel vulnerable. Discomfort is part of the growth process, but how can you handle feeling uncomfortable in therapy when a question catches you off guard? We’ll explore that in this quick read.
Why Did My Therapist Ask That?
It’s happening. You’re feeling uncomfortable in therapy. What can you do next?
When you therapist asks an unexpected question, you have several options. If you’re not sure why your therapist has asked a question, you can start by clarifying how the question is relevant. This isn’t a bold move, this is part of your client rights and the informed consent of therapy. Learning about the deeper intention can help you to feel more comfortable and gives you a moment to pause.
Self-Reflection Time
Take a moment to ask yourself: what is my hesitation telling me? Sometimes we hesitate to respond to a question because we want to avoid the thoughts or emotions connected to the answer. Feeling uncomfortable in therapy can be a reflection of this inner dilemma. You can avoid the thought, but now your therapist is calling attention to the obvious for you.
It’s normal to wonder if saying a thought out loud makes it true. (It doesn’t.) And so, therapy is a safe space to share your thoughts and emotions, and to practice having interactions that you’ll have in the real world. Reflecting on your own process during interactions in therapy can provide valuable insight for yourself.
Do I Have To Answer?
Lastly, consider if you feel pressured to answer. As a client, you do not have to answer every question, and you have the right to say this to your therapist. And your therapist won’t be offended. They might even highlight your boundary setting strength!
Your therapist might respond by asking if you’re feeling uncomfortable in therapy, or explain why they asked. They might also rephrase the question in a way that makes more sense and feels more comfortable. In some cases, the conversation might switch topics into a more productive and comfortable area. You also have the right to change the topic of conversation at any time. I remind clients of this, and I’m used to changing course when we need to set a topic aside.
Every Conversation is a Learning Opportunity in Therapy
One of the main ethical pillars of counselling is client consent. When you practice responding to uncomfortable situations, you strengthen your own boundaries and learn how to navigate conversations when you feel uncomfortable. Every step of the counselling process presents an opportunity to learn more about yourself.
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